At first, his stare used to frighten me, but perhaps humans were truly adaptable creatures because I was no longer afraid of the hidden sharpness hiding behind his eyes, nor was I scared of his empty expression.
I was still taken aback by the face he would make. He was such a mysterious bastard. Are you an onion? Do you have layers? Behind each layer, he had a different side.
Every day, I was growing differently and he was too. Every day, I was catching different sides of him. Yes, maybe that was something obvious.
We were always stuck with each other’s side now.
I thought he was a crazy asshole. Well, he was called a tyrant, so I just assumed he was equal or even worse than Prince Yeonsan-gun. The kind that could compete with Qin Shi Huang or even more ruthless.
The kind of tyrant who would be written down in history and deserved to get criticized through generations, but he was actually not that far gone yet.
Officially, Ferdel was in charge of all government matters, but all major decisions were made by Caitel, and he was in charge of Ferdel’s choices.
From what I heard, the former Emperor was even more f*cked up than Caitel. He literally had the famous “Alcohol Pool” and “Meat Forest” (酒池肉林), he also created the “Cannon Burning Punishment” on top of that. He was a son of a bitch, a human garbage. He was the kind of worthless trash who people couldn’t even recycle, so when Caitel killed his own father, committing the sin of patricide, many people praised him. Of course, the nobles were an exception as they were appalled by his brutality.
Unexpectedly, he was exemplary at paperwork which he consistently did and took good care of all government matters. Well, it wasn’t like he was without fault either. Caitel was really into wars. It was quite a serious problem, and he had a terrible character, there were multiple defects to his humanism.
However, it was said that he didn’t touch his own people without a reason and didn’t kill people unless they really went against him. Even when he declared war, he made sure not to push his soldiers too far. He watched the timing and circumstances of the war before waging them. In fact, he might actually be a good Emperor to his people.
To top it all off, he never lost a battle in his life. Hundreds of years ago, the legendary Darha, who never lost a battle, was the pride of his people.
That’s right. Like I said before, this guy actually did have a plethora of amazing quality than I gave him credit for. He was a reasonable psycho.
…But I couldn’t deny his craziness.
Hey! You crazy bastard.
Before he told me to cry, now he wanted me to laugh. Ah, I really! I have something called pride you know! Did this man think would laugh just because he told me to do so?
How could I possibly laugh just because you ordered me?!
I did my best to maintain a neutral expression. I wouldn’t laugh. I would not laugh no matter what. I must not laugh. I wouldn’t laugh. I wouldn’t laugh because I am strong!’
That’s right. I don’t have anything like pride. F*ck.
As I giggled loudly, deep inside me, I lamented my own destiny.
I was a ruin. I was done. My life was shit. I was an idiot for thinking for a moment that I found gold. I was stupid.
“You laugh well.”
Not all people laugh this well, your royal highness father.
Caitel’s left hand gently touched my cheek and he smirked.
‘Ah, damn. Am I your toy?’
I was so irritated I turned my whole body away. I should seriously stop associating with him. I looked at my matching toys around me.
Rectangle. Triangle. This was a circle.
Where was the box with the matching holes?
I turned my head around, but I couldn’t see the matching box for the toys.
This was creepy, like a ghost joke.
“Looking for this?”
I turned my head towards Caitel’s voice, then I saw the missing box I was looking for in his hand.
Huh? What are you trying to do, Father?
Give it here. I flatly gave my hand out. Then I shook it to urge him faster.
He laughed as he looked at my hand hovering in the air. He didn’t chuckle nonstop like a crazy person this time. It was just a normal laugh.
Ah, crazy asshole. I didn’t want to deal with him. To think that’s my dad. F*ck.
It had been a while since I felt a murderous intent towards God as I chewed my lips and I shook out my hands. Give it here! Why were you getting in the way when I finally decided to play this boring game?
His big hand grabbed my small hand. Then he took the remaining toy shapes I was holding on to.
Wow, this crazy-! What is this?!
“Take it if you can.”
What was he trying to do to me?!
What the- Was I the baby or were you the baby?! What did he just said? Take it if I could? Could I take your life? Could I? Did I need to learn how to handle a knife? Was there any way I could take his life?!’
I had no idea what I just said. I wanted to say hand it over.
Caitel acted like he was going to give it to me as he held out his hand. As soon as I tried to grab it, he pulled his hand back. Wow, damn. I was not a rough person who would just confront people head on, why was I cussing so much?
Ah. I didn’t want to live anymore. Seriously.
Was I playing with him or was he playing with me?
I was pissed off to the max, so I glared at him.
I knew my liver must be swollen big, but as I said before, I knew now that he wouldn’t kill me for now. That mean I could act out as long as I didn’t cross his final line.
Ah, so annoying.
I just plopped my body down. I’m going to sleep now!
Caitel looked like a crestfallen kid who had been busy having fun with his toy, but somebody took it away.
He looked disappointed as he let go of the toy shapes.
Then he quickly lifted my whole body. I found myself in the mercy of his embrace.
I blinked several times as I looked up at him. A slight smile appeared on his face.
Why are you holding me all of a sudden?
When I stayed still with a sh*tty-looking expression, he suddenly stood up.
He moved to the area with the window that almost covered the whole wall and went out on the connecting terrace.
The strong sunlight hurt my eyes. As I squinted under the strong sun, Caitel stepped back. Even with one step, there was a big difference in the amount of light.
It’s a garden… A real garden.
I had practically lived in this room for almost two months, but I had never seen this area despite the fact that it was connected to the break room.
The window and terrace I saw for the first time in my life showed me a breathtaking scenery. To think that the white garden was this beautiful.
The holy tree called Winter Tree, with white leaves, shook gently. It was a wonderful sight.
To think he wanted to show me this sight! Was my father actually gentle? I turned my head to look at him, but even when we were looking at the same garden, Caitel’s expression felt off for some reason. Even on average, he wasn’t normal, but right now, it seemed even more stagnant than usual.
Not only did his face fall, but there was a sliver of animosity in his eyes.
He seemed to have a different perception of the beautiful scenery laying bare in front of us.
“This place is disgusting to the point that-”
His voice came out through clenched teeth.
“…sick and tired.”
His sight was on me, but his eyes were not the same eyes belonging to the Caitel I knew.
Who are you?
I was very curious about this unknown face that popped up randomly from time to time. Who are you, you crazy bastard? I knew he didn’t have multiple personality disorder. Yet sometimes he acted like a completely different person making me wonder if he did.
Then at that moment, he kissed my forehead.
His voice was so soft as he whispered in my ear.