“It’s not just because you’re his daughter. Think about the reason why Caitel first decided to let you live.”
“What? Was it not because I’m like a bug to him?”
Even though I said it, it still felt gave me a pang of sadness. He giggled upon hearing my answer, but Dranste shook his head right away.
“Really think about it. Do you honestly believe Caitel spared you over something like that?”
Of course not. I knew that’s not the reason. Though I had never thought about it before. His unusual seriousness made me sigh. His quiet low voice exhorted me to think. I just wanted to ignore him, but I was the one who’s curious about the answer. I was lost in thought. It was Dranste’s black and blue eyes that reached the end of my subdued gaze.
“…because I can’t fight back at all.”
I still thought about these sometimes. What would have happened if I had cried and struggled when Caitel grabbed my throat. I didn’t ask anyone for it or ask for an answer, but I knew instinctively. I’d be dead if I had done it. Dranste nodded at my answer. I added another one to it.
“Was I a creature he can kill at any time if he wants to?”
“And didn’t do it because he doesn’t feel the need to take such a weak life.”
With his mouth wagging, Dranste added a word. I then wrinkled my forehead at that sight.
“There’s no need to keep me alive.”
“But there’s also no need to kill you.”
It was incomprehensible, but Draneste’s reply was not unconvincing. Yeah, well, he could kill me any time, so he didn’t feel the need to kill me. Why is that though? He whispers quietly as if to answer my question.
“And you’re so loyal to Caitel that on one would ever imagine that you could betray him.”
I bite my lips without realizing it. I had such a vague realization.
I see. I was just desperate to survive, and I guessed that was what might have looked like to the eyes of others. Even now, I was the most gentle in Caitel’s hands.
“Yes, no matter how much you wander around Caitel, he didn’t find the need to dispose of you. That’s who you are. You’re the only one who can approach Caitel’s heart right now.”
I didn’t know why he’s telling me this.
However, his eyes told me that this was the truth.