The moment I fell back and cringed my face at the pain that’s pushing my head into the chair, I could feel the touch that holds my back. I opened my eyes right away. Of course, it was Caitel who was holding me.
However, Caitel’s face was different than usual. Somehow he looked urgent.
I had a headache because I hit the chair.
My head sounded like it was ringing. I was sick and I teared up in my eyes. However, I didn’t want to cry because it’s Papa’s birthday. I sobbed desperately.
“Are you all right?”
I shouldn’t cry, but I’m crying. Now he wasn’t the one who would kill me for crying, but I still didn’t want to cry in front of him.
Yes, today was my dad’s birthday.
Although he disliked it, the fact that today was his birthday had not changed. I sniffed a little and then smiled brightly.
Oh, you didn’t have to look at me. I knew I looked like a fool now. I didn’t think I would be feeling sad right now whatever Caitel said to me. I knew. I knew I’m stupid.
However, I didn’t stop opening my arms, pulling the Caitel’s neck, and gave him a big hug. Because I was his daughter.
Although it wasn’t a human word, I’d like to congratulate him. He asked who would want to celebrate his birthday. However, I still wanted to congratulate him. He was my father, my only family in the world.
That fact was enough reason to celebrate you.
It would have been difficult to understand because it’s not human language, but Caitel quickly understood. His surprised eyes were on me. I was embarrassed. I didn’t do anything.
Yeah, that’s my present.
I gave strength to my arms, holding Caitel’s neck. I kissed him on the cheek for the first time.
A small sound filled the surroundings. I smiled after a surprise kiss on his cheek.
Hehe, how was it? Dad, didn’t I seems more human now? Wouldn’t he call me something like a human being now?
When I pushed him to say something, Caitel woke up from his stupid look.
His face was, like, a face I couldn’t even decipher.
What, was he angry?
However, his hand holding my arm was shaking a little. I didn’t know what was happening to him, but I knew it wasn’t anger. At that moment, I could hear a small voice in my ear.
You could skip that between us.
I smiled at the sight of another encounter.
Happy birthday, Dad.
“I truly hate you, emperor. My body and my blood will not forgive you. If this body of mine withers and rot away, this child with my blood will curse you in my stead.”
The woman’s eyes were quite intense when she uttered curses. It had been a long time dealing with that kind of burning hatred, I just accepted it like a traveler near the bonfire.
Only one night. That’s all I remembered with her.
I didn’t care where she came from or what she had to say. Such women were scattered all over the stream when I went to the Harem.
However, the feeling was interesting. That was all Caitel felt.
He remembered the smell of the woman shaking in his arms. It was soon dispersed, but he still remembered. She and seduced him first, and when he responded, it was funny to see her run away first.
Of course, it was the only sentiment left, but it’s amazing how much of such appreciation remains. Normally, he would forget it all.
Maybe that’s why he reacted like that.
He still remembered the woman’s eyes, trembling but not a step back. The blue-green eyes looked like a dark deep forest unlike the princess from the North, who called for winter.
However, what the deep forest contained was hatred, the most intense hatred. It does not go along with her. He thought shortly.
If the child looked like her, it seemed interesting to see, but the child looked more like him than her.
It was unpleasant. A child who looked exactly like him elicited his disgust. Therefore, when he checked the fact with his eyes, he naturally reached out his hands to her.
He tried to kill her. It was obviously a touch to kill.
It was a distant, natural obligation; there was no other malice in reaching out for it, for some reason. It was a duty. Killed for dry reasons. There was no room for any other reason.
However, Caitel did not give a boost to his grip.
He had never thought about having his own child. He was a man who had killed all the royal families except himself because they were tied to his blood. His intimacy for his family was not enough to keep them alive.
The short gaze he faced when he held the baby’s pulsating neck stopped his ungrateful touch.
It was neither blood nor anything that stopped his hand. Just a short glance. It was such a short time it almost felt like a snap.
It was then that he heard a voice calling him.
The child looked up at a strange man without knowing if her father would kill her. The child probably didn’t even know he’s her father.
‘What is that feeling? What should I explain?
It was an unknowable excitement, so, perhaps, I let go of my hands like that.
I couldn’t give power to my hand. No, I didn’t want to give it power.’
Yes, saving the child was his whim. A moment’s short whimper. It was the kind of whimper one wouldn’t know when one would change.
However, would he have killed the child on the spot if he knew the repercussions the whims would bring later?
He agonized later, but even he, himself, couldn’t figure out the answer.
The baby was weak. It was soft and weak. It was the kind of weak life that would soon lose its breath with little effort.
I doubt she was alive. I doubted how she was alive in such a small body.
It’s so weak, but the woman who took care of the weak life was also amazing. Even the series of processes of raising the child was quite bizarre. To see the little body grow and to protect that body was interesting. Yes, it was one of those tireless fun things, something interesting to watch.
Therefore, I kept watching her because I thought it’s a girl. If she got on my nerves later I could always sell her away.
There was some sympathy I harbor for my child who was treated like that. When the innocent child’s eyes stared silently at him, an emotion that could not be seen crossed his chest. One wouldn’t have been born because they wanted to.
“Even if you were born, you’ve only had a series of lives like this, and your mother, who would give birth to you at all costs, is ridiculous.”
However, it was more intense than that.
The fact that one could hear the pulsating sound of their heart without cutting it off, and the moment they realize once again that little body was a living creature, he finally admitted.
He saved the child not because she looked like her mother, but because she didn’t. Yeah, that’s why.
The child looked like himself to the point of hell; his red-silver hair, his scarlet eye, all like him. The moment I realized them, Caitel couldn’t help but admit it. The child was my child.
“You’re my child.”
The temperature at hand was higher than the average human being. Every time our eyes met, he thought the habitually smiling face was stupid, but he found himself reaching out to the smile. He thought it was offensive to have other people’s warmth or trace, but the child didn’t seem to fall into that category.
When he realized the child he met after a long time was crying, the anger he felt represented the whole change of his heart. Who would dare touch his child who could not cry even at her own father’s murderous intent? Of course, he knew he couldn’t define her as his child because of those feelings, but since he had already classified her as his property, more standards were meaningless.
“Your Majesty will love the princess someday, too.”
The babysitter’s interjection was funny. It was also true that I didn’t pay much attention to her as she was living in peace.
“You’ve been a human being lately, but I can’t say it’s just after the time you were an infant Anyway, can I see your daughter too?”
I also did not pay attention to Ferdel’s assessment.
I was interested in watching my child grow, so I didn’t pay much attention to anything else. I thought I could get that kind of assessment, but…
“You’ll regret it.”
Everything turned upside down the moment Dranste appeared.
I realized, the moment he smiled. I’m being sucked into a swamp.
Was it too late?
He found the wrong way out, as he was always in a hurry to find the exit. An unknown beginning, when it was the enemy, it was confusing. Before I knew it, he was used to the child. No, he was soaked in his life with the child.
The child laughed. That smile was so lovely. A smile really made everyone smile to let everyone knew they were born to be loved. Yeah, I had made myself so dry.
You would regret it.
A voice in my head warns me I would regret it. No more, no more.
However, what I really regretted was…
I held my child in my arms. Her body was too warm.
Because of my lower body temperature, my child with a higher body temperature sometimes felt like a fireplace, but now I’m used to it, to the point where I needed this temperature.
Yeah, I see.
The low-sunk gaze at the child gloomily. The child smiled innocently.
Yes, what I really regretted was…
A low voice recited in small tones.
It was the fact I couldn’t even imagine killing this child anymore.