My mother was a princess from a kingdom in the north. She was commonly called Lady Jereina, but it was not her name. Originally, her name had a more northerly hard tone. However, they replaced her name when her father sold her in order to prevent the fall of her kingdom, that was when she was brought to this palace. Here, she had an Agregiant name. The name given to her was Jereina. Thus, the people surrounding her called her Lady Jereina.
“Ariadna, your name is too long.”
Since the morning, Elene started to agonize over my name. I averted my eyes from her as I suck hard at the bottled milk in my mouth.
“Would you like me to call you Leah or Anna?”
They’re both weird. I tried to say I do not like both of them, but I was just a baby. Just because I was young, my opinion was ignored. You dirty world!
“Let’s call you Leah.”
Yeah, I think Leah’s better than Anna, but I do not like both of them either!
I cried inwardly as I sucked the bottle hard. No, this was delicious, It was over. I am such a baby.
When the nanny lifted me up to finish eating and help me burp, Elene could not stand it for long and she leaned her face towards me. I frowned as soon as I saw her face. I did not like her at all!
“The princess does not like it.”
As expected, you are my Superman. The nanny was a wizard who recognized my mind. it was like she was my mom.
Serira, You are the only one for me.
Showing the cute act of smashing my cheek with a small body, I clinged myself in the arms of the nanny. Meanwhile, Elene seemed shocked. She bulged her cheeks and complained like a child.
“The princess hates me!”
I did not hate you, but you are kind of annoying. I felt jealous for her because she had a much grown up body than I do, and most of all, she could speak. I whined as my jealousy consumed me. Serira made face at Elene. On that face, she shut her mouth and sat beside me with a sullen face. Come to think of it, even though I am a princess, she was the only maid I had got. In a way, I was in a pitiable condition. Well, if one would think of it, if there were more maids in the palace, it would be twice as annoying than my circumstances now. So this is better.
“But it is a little strange. She doesn’t cry in front of the king. She does not usually cry, but still.”
“She recognizes even when she is young.”
Their gazes touched my soul. I gave them a big burp and a bright smile in return. It was almost like an instinctive behavior for my case.
“That he is her father.”
Well, about that.
I know it, but my instinct did not recognize him. I did not feel good because I was under the impression that I was a genius baby who could recognize my own father in an instance. This kind of delusion was not good!
“What is wrong, Princess?”
My nanny took my whining in a different way and looked at me anxiously.
Phew, no, no. I will just take care of this.
Still, the nanny checked my diapers to make sure I was not uncomfortable. Her delicate and caring hand movements showed me that I was not the first child she raised. it was not the skill of a mother who had her first child.
I put my pacifier back in my mouth to be cradled in her arms. This pacifier was the symbol of babies. At first, I felt uncomfortable with this kind of thing in my mouth, but it helped me not to get bored.
“She does not look like my lady at all.”
When Elene said so, the nanny’s face darkened. I sucked my pacifier while looking at their stern faces. What is wrong, you two?
“Not her dazzling blonde, not her green eye color. Even the features…”
“I do not think it is possible to recognize unless someone says it.”
“I think so, too.”
Oh, my look.
I did not know what they were talking about, how could I look like anyone when my age did not even cross the threshold of a week. Of course, when I saw a baby, I would probably say the same thing they had said. However, when I saw these things from the baby’s point of view, it made me realize that they looked like a fool.
“Why did Lady Jereina do that?”
Elene somehow looked conflicted. Did she feel depressed because I kept refusing to cooperate with her? I thought she would not get hurt because she was like a roly-poly. I began considering if I should be kind to her from now even though she’s annoying. I closed my tired eyes, and the nanny’s voice, mixed with a sigh, fell over it.
“How can we know what she meant?”
It was always the same thing these two were talking about. it was about me, and about my mother and my father. I could quickly catch up to what they were talking about, as I have been listening to it all week.
Caitel, the mad emperor, killed every woman who had his child. Well, he killed all the women who were trying to get something from him. There were women who tried to hide until they gave birth. However, after finding out about them, Caitel cut their bellies while they were alive. What a crazy bastard.
I was fed up with the same old story and started wondering how he could throw his own child away so casually. Soon, I had a violent feeling of anguish towards my life. So the conclusion I came to was, ‘If you will kill me now, kill me with no pain.’
Yeah, I know, I am very servile.
“I just wish…”
My nanny stroke my cheek with a serious face. I smiled at her. A soft smile quickly spread over her lips.
“I just wish he has a bit of warmth to love this little baby.”
I think it would be hard. He did not have that. He killed women who had his own children. Of course, the most direct reason he could do such a thing was because of his ice-like temper. Still, it would be better to ask the skies to pour rain during dry days than expect some warmth from him.
He was a cold-blooded man who did not take care of his parents and his siblings. Not only did he kill his biological father with his own hands and seized the throne, but he also sold all his sisters abroad. He gathered his brothers in one place and killed them. However, he felt like his efforts to rid his family were not good enough, so he started a war to kill his sisters. That was the end of what I knew about him.
He was the main culprit who swept through all the battlefields like the wind and roiled the continent into a frenzy.
Oh, a simple summary for those busy people. Caitel was a crazy bastard, similar to Hitler.
There were still some people who said he would feel different towards his children. I heard even a hedgehog felt compassion about their baby. However, those words had completely disappeared when the emperor cut off the neck of a woman who had his child. Goodbye.
“I am sure both Lady Jereina and the emperors are amazing people anyway.”
Perhaps because Caitel was an emperor, my mother, who protected me from such a fellow, seemed to be perceived as a pretty great woman in the palace. Well, my mother, who got pregnant with me in just a night, was being held in Echelon by herself as soon as she found out that she was pregnant. It was almost like she was in solitary confinement.
At the end of the palace, at the corner of its most secluded area, she raised me with that delicate body. The emperor found it out a month before I was born. Of course, the emperor tried to kill her. No, actually I don’t really know what happened.
Al I knew was that the princess lived safely and died after giving birth to me. Meanwhile, the emperor went to conquer South Icharta at the time of her birth.
I looked up at Serira. She smiled softly. I did not know how many months, but most of my memories were about her. I feel strange. Perhaps if I could consider someone as my mother, Serira would be the best candidate, not the lady they were talking about.
“Oh, by the way, do you know the rumor?”
“I heard the Emperor is cursed.”
Serira’s expression darkened at Elene’s words. I stared straight at Elene. How dare you do that to my nanny! Elene went sullen again.
Oh, I just decided to be nice to her and then I am staring at her menacingly again. I was a little sorry. She liked me so much.
At that moment Serira put me down on the cot. I guess it was time for me to sleep.
“It is not a curse.”
Sherra’s expression was grim. She was recalling.
“If I can name it…”
Her hand clenched my little hand.
I rather felt pathetic in the mercy of her bigger hand. I clasped her little finger trying to hold my hand.
“I will call it ‘Cry’.”
When a flash of memory ran under the surface of the seas of my mind like a fish that had been pulled out of a net, I remembered a voice that had been accompanied by it. Somebody’s sorrowful, mellow voice.
“I truly hate you, emperor. My body and my blood will not forgive you. If this body of mine withers and rot away, this child with my blood will curse you in my stead.”
I mumbled to myself, closing my eyes.
What are you asking to do to a little child?
After our scary first meeting, the emperor unexpectedly came to visit me.
For me, he was a pain in the neck, but Elene and nanny seemed to be inwardly pleased with him. Well, I know why, it’s because I am a princess, but by all accounts, my position was vague and equivocal because I am not the daughter of an officially married couple. That was why it was such a sad fact that I did not have any legitimacy to shut those annoying mouths of theirs all at once, even if some of the junkies insist, “she is not a princess for this kind of reasons!”
Yeah, that was what it was. I liked the fact that dad came to visit me as his daughter. He was not like a father at all, but his beauty truly was amazing.
He was my eye candy, and most of all, I am his daughter. He would not kill me. Right?
“You are not sleeping.”
Oh, yeah, sorry. I misjudged you. You were the one who would kill your daughter.
I raised my head, and we had eye contact. Shoot. I was not as nervous as I had been since I had seen him for the first time, but it was just a difference on the degree of the fear, and it was natural for my heart to fluctuate in the sight of him, so I could not help it.
Oh, it was hard for me to breath because he was too handsome and I’m enjoying the sigh of him. My heart beats because I thought I would die. What the hell is going on, God?
I did not think he was looking down at me because he wanted to kill me, but his eyes were… It was a little scary. Yeah, he was scared!
“Is it because I am here?”
The illusion was free, sir.
I turned my head with a rotten look at his smile, and I sucked my pacifier. I had heard a lot about breastfeeding being good for the growth of a baby, but my mother had no way of supplying it since she was already dead.
Oh, do not tell me that milk I drink was all mother’s milk. No way. It tasted so good though.
Perhaps, it was only a really good baby milk powder?
I almost fell into a world of unconsciousness, but even before I realized, my pacifier was gone in my mouth. I looked up at the sky where my pacifier disappeared. Oh, my God!
“Do you want this?”
…God, was this violent temper what I’m feeling right now?
That bastard, how could you take your daughter’s pacifier! I looked up angrily. Of course, what could you do with that cute baby face? He was grinning furiously with my pacifier on his hand.
Oh, I hate it!
Yeah. This was the problem. It was fine that he visits me often, it was good to see that handsome face, it was all good! However, the problem was he thought of me not as a daughter, but as a toy that soothes his boredom.
You crazy bastard!
“You have that unpleasantly red eyes.”
I got that eye from you. You red-eyed monster.
“It is too red.”
Oh, well, I got it from you.
“I’d like to draw it out.”
What the. I opened my mouth in shock, and he laughs coolly. It was his smile with a really glistening beauty that made my eyes cool, but it did not look as beautiful as it was.
There was a demon in there.
He laughed like that and placed my pacifier in my mouth. He was so serious I thought he would cut me down with that pacifier.
…well I am sorry I doubted.
What an artistic thing for him to say to his 2-month-old baby. I curled my lips and sucked my pacifier. We had another eye contact.
Yeah, look at me if you wanted to behold my eyes. I already knew what he would say. Valuation, Appraisal, Appreciation. That was what he said when he looked at me.
Am I some kind of statue?
I had come to the level that treats all his words as bullshit. God, free me from this madman. However, he said it once every few hours.
I tried to listen to it so carefully. I was an idiot.
“This is really small.”
Still, there were a few things I learned from his visits. It was something that I did not know from Elene or Serira’s chatter, so I found the new discoveries as amusing and entertaining.
The first was the fact that this guy was a psycho who was more reasoned than I thought. He even had a sense of morality or ethics.
However, the problem was his attitude or mindset that did not try to keep that in mind. It was a little different from when people called him mad to mock his name, but it all happened.
Yeah, so that does not change the fact that he was a lunatic, but it was different from that craziness like Elizabeth Bathory (the Contessa of Transylvania in the 16th century who killed virgins and bathed in their blood) who took bath with blood, or Vlad the 3rd(Romania’s second prince, Dukes of Walachia, the inspiration behind Dracula) who impaled his enemies with iron spears.
It was good to know that he was not such a pervert, but if he was not crazy, then that was no…
If I had to define him, he’d be a fucking lunatic.
No, it was not a definition.