Look at this dog not listening to others. I sighed with frustration, and Ferdel sighed beside me.
Yeah, this was the situation which happened all the time. Oh, this bastard.
“Why did you choose a dog though? You could have said a rabbit, pig, horse, or a fox even.”
Why was he curious about that?
As usual, it was a useless question, I thought Caitel would ignore it, so I picked up the toy next to me. Round, large, and hanging on a stick like meat.
I was biting it, and Caitel took the toy out of my hand.
Oh, but my gums itch, Dad!
I tried hard not to be taken away by him, but in the end, my toy disappeared into his hands.
It was a good toy, sob sob.
“Her eyes only look up to me and reflect myself, just like a dog.”
“Well, you know. It sounds like an insult even though it’s not.”
I knew. Did my eyes really resemble a dog that much?
No matter how I thought about it, it sounded like an insult. Was it simply because I was not innocent?
“A dog will wag its tail even if its master tries to beat it or kill it.”
What was he suddenly talking about?
He’s always a serious man without humor in his life, but now Caitel was somehow different than usual. Something like he’s depressed? I took a deep breath. It sounded like a small sigh.
“That’s what her eyes reminded me of.”
Caitel closed his mouth.
Papa, I reach out to his cheek with a small whisper.
Dad, I really liked you, but at times like this, I didn’t know what to do.
Oh, it was good until then…
Why was he the one looking like an abandoned dog…?
I touched Caitel’s cheek. I wanted to tell him that he didn’t have to make a face like that. I guessed it was still impossible for me with these little hands of mine right now.
When would these hands start to grow?
I didn’t even know how much time it took to grow enough to cover his cheeks completely.
Ferdel also stiffened his face.
Caitel held my waist on that question. The same crimson eye as mine. Red and vivid, representing both Birth and Death.
“She doesn’t know what kind of person I am, yet she relies on me because I am her father. Even though I might try to kill her.”
“So are you going to kill her?”
Ferde asked Caitel with his chin oh his hand. Caitel’s eyes turned to Ferdel. It must be a serious situation, but Ferdel’s face was dry, like an audience watching a movie.
If he confirmed, I would have run away from him, but fortunately, Caitel denied. His gaze returned to me. His confused eyes strangely seemed pretty to me.
Oh, wait. Was I crazy too?
“If you’re not going to kill her, why are you so worried? You’re really weird sometimes.”
“I think it’s not only sometimes.”
He talked back to Caitel, and got beaten up again.
Anyway, he really earned punishment with his words.
Not forgetting to look pathetically at Ferdel, I turned my head back to the gaze holding me.
“Do you know what kind of man I am?”
You might be the crazy one?
“What if I try to kill you?”
Caitel was asking me very seriously. I couldn’t understand and agreed to those questions, but I guessed he didn’t really care. Holding me in his arms, he muttered.
“She’s too naive and defenseless.”
That’s because I’m still a baby…
Well, I could say I was defenseless because he was my father. It was actually a difficult question for both of us.
Ferdel sighed. He seemed to not know what to say to these difficult questions.
“You’re father and daughter. Isn’t it okay to put down your guard a bit in front of family?”
“I’ve never learned of anything like that.”
I realized what kind of life this man had been living through. There was a darkness in his cold smile. I wiggled in his arms.
“Are you afraid that eyes will betray you?”
‘Then what’s wrong with you, huh?’
I didn’t want to be ignorant of this chaos. I wanted to know him, answer his questions, and solve it for him.
However, I could do that only when I know the answer. I didn’t know what he’s asking, what he’s afraid of, or what’s he likes. The more I knew, the more difficult he was.
“I remember Assisi.”
Somehow I felt his arms shaking.
It was subtle. Something like a tremble.
Yeah, I thought he and I still had a little distance. Not as far as the sun and the earth, but the distance between Seoul to Busan?
Of course, that was a long way off, but compared to the sun and the earth, it was much shorter. I wonder. When the day came that I knew about all of Caitel’s past, his thoughts, and what he’s thinking of, what would I think of him then? WouldI like him? Perhaps, I would hate him?
However, the important fact still remained, Caitel was still my father no matter what.
“You know, you can have some more trust in people.”
The voice of Ferdel awakened me from my own appreciation. Caitel’s gaze was breathtaking.
“She’s your daughter, after all.”
Yeah, there’s nothing more obvious than that. I accepted it right away, but Caitel frowned at first.
“Don’t try to give me advice”
“I’m just trying to help you!”
Ferdel pulled back as if he was sad. I was a little glad that now, Caitel seemed to return being my father. I opened my arms right away and embraced his neck.
However, dad, he should stop worrying about such useless things. If he tried to kill me, I would run away without looking back. I could crawl now! Stop looking down on me!
“By the way. If I have a son, why don’t you give your daughter to me?”
“Don’t even dream of it.”
It was also my toy that flew to the smiling Ferdel.
My toys again! This asshole, my toys weren’t his tool for hitting! He didn’t have to throw it like that!
“Why!? Am I not good enough to be your in-law?”
“Yes, by a lot.”
Ferdel’s face crumpled at the unreserved answer.
“It’s not enough.”
With that word left, Caitel went out with me. Fertel, who was left alone, shouted from behind.