I suddenly subsided before a wave of emotion could pass. I was still feeling depressed. Did it matter if I was human? My dad was already inhuman.
“You’re not human!”
I said very confidently and Serira gasped behind. However, I didn’t waste my last 18 months. I grinned as if I knew nothing. Papa, I was just a little child who knew nothing. Still, he’s not human. Only I was. I couldn’t give up on that.
“P, princess, you have to go take bath if you are done with your dinner.”
As soon as I finished my meal, Serira hastened. She was worried I might get some kind of punishment. Serira held me, but I pulled her collar.
Put me down! I wanted to walk! I wanted to walk!
Serira sighed and put me down. I looked back as I was leaving the restaurant. Caitel was eating a salad with his chin tucked up.
When I got close to him, Caitel looked at me. I waved my hand to asked him to lower his head a little. He looked at me for a moment before complying to my request. I beckoned him to bend his head more. That’s still too tall for me!
Caitel’s face was slightly wrinkled. As soon as I felt his irritation at me, I tip-toed up at him and kissed his cheek. Chu! Hehe, I did it. I suddenly felt embarrassed and ran back to Serira. Two stiffened figures look at me. I smiled and waved my hand at Caitel.
“See you later, daddy!”
It’s already passed for two weeks. Time flies so fast.
Well, It’s been a year and a half since I was born. when I thought about it, time really shot past me. Oh, but wasn’t this a little too much!? I felt like I was wasting my life for nothing. I almost felt like I was unemployed. Well, these were what’s common at this time. Still, no matter how much I thought about it, I couldn’t get rid of the feeling that I was useless in many ways.
There’s nothing I did in particular, nothing to I was preparing for other than just eating, playing, sleeping and growing all day long. This boring life even made me want to study something, sob sob. However, I heard that children here started studying when they were five or six years old. Oh, it was so boring.
“Princess, please stop rolling over there. That’s the bare grass.”
Oh he should have left me alone. It’s the same garden, there would be no problem for not having a blanket under. I rolled around and ignored Serira’s voice. I had been living my life too rough. I was sick of this peaceful sorry excuse of a life, it was bullsh*t.
I was suddenly scared my life would remain this way even if I was twenty-five years old again. I didn’t want to live a life without any purpose, no emotion, no fun, no interest. The biggest joy was watching television. My fucking past life. How the hell did I live my life like that anyway?
I rolled and rolled and ended up right in front of the winter tree. Oh my, as my body touched the tree, suddenly great cold spread out. Oh my! Were they surprised at my high body temperature? However, I was surprised too. I thought I would die frozen.
“Oh my, are you all right?”
Serira ran to me frighten, as she had seen the chill from the trees. I shook my hand saying it was okay.
“Princess, your hands are cold!”
“No, I’m fine!”
I was really feeling fine. Serira was so devoted to me she couldn’t get away with it. I looked down at her hand and turned my eye to the winter tree. Over the years, I could feel that my standards had set for this world. Also how human got judged greatly on their appearance.
I started to act out what I was thinking, and now everybody told me I finally acted like the right age. I didn’t really mean that. I got compliments when I ate my meal without being picky or stayed quiet when I change my clothes. Living as a baby was quite difficult. Well, what could I do when my mind was not a baby. Ah, so boring.
“Do you like the winter tree, princess?”
The tree that came into my eyes was white even to the stem. Like snow. I felt like it would get steamed when I blow it.
“Why do you like this tree?”
Suddenly, I remembered the old story Serira told me when I was six months old. The story of this winter tree.
The first king of Agregiant was half spirit and half human. He was extraordinary since his childhood, and people hated him. When he was dying, it was the spirit of Elverone who saved him. He was friends with a winter spirit from the Elverone mountain. The spirit helped him meet a great teacher. Later, he built the Agregiant Kingdom. On the day when he built the kingdom, he finally met the winter spirit of Elverone mountain.
Nobody knew if they fell in love, but later when the king passed away, the winter spirit was said to have taken root in this tree. That’s why it’s called the winter tree.
Maybe that’s why I felt like I could hear something from this giant white tree. Something rich and delicate like a melody. Of course, it’s just my delusion.
“It is pretty though. Still, please stay away from it. You might get sick.”
However, even the dog didn’t get summer cold!
My protest didn’t work though. I came back to the original place we put a blanket down. Ohh, I hated when nobody listened to my opinion because I was a baby! Well, I didn’t think nobody would still listen to me even when I got older. Come to think of it, no matter how good the ending would be, political marriage would be my ending. Oh, it’s screwd
I refused to talk about marriage like it’s all about women’s happiness. However, that didn’t mean it didn’t matter in my life. It’s important. Under the name of my husband, I would decide the face I would see every day. It would be a political marriage anyway, so I never dreamed of love in my marriage. I just didn’t want my husband to be an asshole. Was that too much to wish for? At least I hoped he’s a sincere man to me. Oh, I couldn’t believe I have to worry about these things at my age. This world is rotten. Sob sob.
“Elene will bring pudding soon.”
My eyes flashed suddenly while discussing the absurdity of life. I liked pudding! Serira laughed as I turned around with a big smile. She picked up the knitting she had left behind and measured it on my body. What, you wanted to make me a sweater?
“You’ve grown a lot, my princess. You were used to be this small.”
Did I? Actually, I felt that my height had changed, but I didn’t care if I was growing or not. To be honest, I didn’t really feel like I grew up, except when I walked or run. Why?
“You haven’t seen his Majesty often lately. Aren’t you sad?”
Huh? No, I was enjoying it since it’s more comfortable. I didn’t have to force myself to laugh. However, it’s a little bit too much to say that to her. Well, in this case, just Smile!
I didn’t know anything! When I smiled and avoided answering, Serira looked down at me like I was a silly child. I didn’t know if she knew that I did that on purpose or not, but I still could read the emotion in her eyes.
A warm loving eye looking at me.