“Oh, my. Princess?”
When I returned to the room, Serira was inside as I left. Serira!
As soon as she came into my sight, something melted inside me. I scowled and got into Serira’s arms with a tearful look. Serira, who was knitting, hugged me with embarrassment. Her body was very warm, with my wide-opened arms tightly holding her. It was enough to melt my dirty feelings.
It was warm. To feel the warmth a little better, I closed my eyes tightly. My rough breathing after running earlier had slowly subsided in her arms. I opened my eyes again after a long time.
Serira hugged me with a smile, even though what I did might be a bit embarrassing because I ran into her all of a sudden. Her lips that touched my cheek made me tear up. She wasn’t as meek as my mother in my previous life. She wasn’t an old lady either, not even older than my age in my previous life, and yet she was already my mother. Yes, she was still my mother, even though she was younger than my mental age.
“Princess, you’re acting strange today.”
Her voice whispering to me was somehow playful. It’s as if it’s mocking me, so I frowned to show my frustration. Serira smiled little.
“Should we do nothing today but just cuddling?”
Being in her arms again, I nodded my head at her question.
This relieved me a little. Now I didn’t know why I was so angry. When I breathed the smell of her body, which I had been smelling since when I was baby, I could finally forget about everything.
Was this what mother’s dignity was? Until now, I felt so shitty that I wanted to destroy everything.
“I thought my princess was good and caring for others, not stubborn and not jealous, so I thought you were mature but-”
What? When I raised my head, Serira looked at me. Her green eyes were like grasses from the deep forest.
“But a baby is still a baby after all. You’re so cute, my princess.”
She thought I was cute when I felt shitty? Did she want to die?
Serira laughed as I made a sour expression. Serira’s hand patted my head. I gently thrust my nose into her arms as her hand led me.
“But I like it. I love you when you grizzle while being stubborn. I also love it when you are jealous or when you are inconsiderate of others. But I know that my princess still cares for others. My princess is not a stubborn and not a jealous person, right?”
What was I supposed to do then?
It was a very obvious statement, and it was an obvious compliment…
However, I like it. I closed my mouth and buried myself again in her warmth that just accepted for who I was. She just made me feel better just for being there. It’s weird.
I heard the door open and I heared someone, probably Elene, coming in, but I didn’t raise my head in Serira’s arms. Should I just fall in sleep like this? I felt depressed. I was acting like a newborn baby. I knew I was being childish, and I knew it’s immature, and I knew it’s stupid, but… But I couldn’t help it. Because I wanted to do this. Just because she’s an adult didn’t mean she had to hold on to everything.
I couldn’t help myself from feeling hurt for not knowing the reason. Even as an adult, it felt the same; pain did not come exclusively from a young age. Although the wound might not be severe, it’s still a wound.
I could hear Elene calling me, but I didn’t move my head from Serira’s arms. After that, Elene called a couple more times, but soon, she gave up. Serira asked her in a small voice.
“Do you know what has happened to her all of a sudden?”
“I don’t know.”
Her voice moaned. I just closed my eyes.
Actually, I wanted to forget all about it and just quietly stay like this, but Elene’s voice lit up my anger. Elene shut her mouth as I raised my head with a scowl.
“I have a guess.”
“Why don’t you go get a cup of warm tea. Also, get some sweet cakes. I think chocolate cake with chocolate syrup would be good. Or a brownie.”
If it wasn’t Serira, I would have taken it out on Elene.
“I’ll be right back!”
She could come slowly. I saw Elene run, then I fell back onto Serira’s arms again. Her touch on my back was softer than usual.
Yeah, maybe it’s just my misunderstanding that we’re getting closer to each other. He could have just played with me like a toy. All his concern could be his bait to play me. Everything he did that made me think we were close was probably nothing but an illusion. Yes, it could be. I knew this, I knew.
Still, I couldn’t help but have this feeling surging from my heart even though I knew all about it.
Oh, this was so annoying.
“Princess, eating sweets will make you feel better.”
I didn’t think so at all. Even if I kept trying to forget, I couldn’t help but remember the cruelty of it all. Why did he look at me like that? Why? He was a totally different person than usual. It wasn’t the Caitel I knew. Oh, well, that’s all my bullshit. If it’s not who I knew, then who was he. Ha, I didn’t know anything after all. My head was completely twisted.
“If you eat something warm, you’ll calm down. It’s okay. It’s all going to be okay.”
Serira patted me on my head. Her gentle touch calmed me.
The irritation rising from within me disappeared at some point. Maybe Serira was a magician. Otherwise, how could she ease my pain so easily?
I thought I just had a bad dream. Serira smiled. The smile instantly washed away all the anxiety in me.
“Princess, here’s a delicious cake for you!”