Running away from the voices calling me from behind, I just ran without thinking. Drank some cold air and cooled my head. My cheeks were so hot that I didn’t know if the weather got hotter or if it was just me.
“Why did he have to make me so mad?”
This was so annoying.
As soon as I thought I ran enough, I just sat down on the ground. My hands were already covering my face.
Why did I do that? Why did I say something about not having a mother? Ah, damn it. Shit! I just said whatever that came out of my mouth, but it wasn’t good.
Darn, how would I face Serira from now on?
Oh, I was going crazy.
I suddenly wanted to see my mother. Now she was quite old, so she was not the same as before, but I still wanted to see my Korean mom. I felt so upset. I knew their position, but was it okay to use such a phrase already? It looked like I had really turned into a child after being coddled all this time. My mind must be regressing in age to suit my body…Oh, stupid, why did I say that all sudden? Serira’s face stiffened when I said that. How could I go back?
“Should I just die?”
If I die, then I wouldn’t have to worry about all this. Should I really die? Today I first realized that embarrassment drove a suicidal impulse. I was so embarrassed that I wanted to die.
After a bit of self-blaming, I stood up. Anyway, where was this place? I didn’t know where it was, but since I didn’t go outside the garden, I was definitely somewhere around the garden. This garden truly was bigger than I know.
“They must be worried by now..”
That’s the only thing I could think of at the moment. No matter how much security they raised inside the palace, I was obviously still the only princess in this country; thus, the threat of having assassins after me were relatively high. Of course, nothing else was directly targeting me except the first assassination attempt I had received.
I was not the kind of person who could walk around like this…
Still, I didn’t have the courage to go back by myself now. I would rather die than go back now. How could I get back to them when I made that mess? After all, all I could do was to walk around.
Should I go back towards where that blue-haired lady was?
Or maybe towards the winter tree. At that moment, I could see a little boy from a distance.
“What are you doing over there, you idiot?”
He shrugged his shoulder over my voice. I could have just ignored it, but he was so close to me; it was as if he was seeking my attention, so I just went closer to him. Graecito crouched for a moment and soon looked up as if he had made a big decision.
“I’m not an idiot!”
“Then what are you?”
Did I ever say I didn’t know he’s Graecito?
Shrugging his shoulders, I went to the side where Graecito was sitting and sat on a space with a little distance from hi,. It’s embarrassing to sit too close.
“I said Graecito!”
Graecito’s efforts to imprint his name were in vain, for I had no intention of calling him with his real name. Why would I call you something so pretty when he’s not even cute? Well, I guessed he was a bit cute since he acted like a child. He couldn’t even answer my questions straight when he was even bigger than me. How could this be Serira’s son? Tsk tsk. He didn’t look like Serira for sure.
I felt pity for him rather than hating him because he’s just a child, but Grecito suddenly looked at me with little an apologetic eyes.
He knew he did wrong, didn’t he? However, I didn’t intend to forgive him immediately, so I pretended not to know him and turned my head away. I knew it’s harder for him to talk to me if I did this, but I didn’t want to forgive him easily! If he couldn’t stand this much coldness, how could he live in this harsh world?