T/N: The chapter most of you have been waiting for is finally here.
After ZhouXiang returned, he informed CaiWei and LanXiRong of YanMingXiu's intent. The both of them were enraged. ZhouXiang had no emotions, only dazedly said, “Go back. Let's go back home right now. I felt that YanMingXiu is lying about one thing. He said that the condo is already in his name but I don't think it would be so fast. The death certificate can't be issued in just these few days. My aunt couldn't possibly have inherited my condo yet so how could YanMingXiu buy it. It's possible that he might have a long-term agreement with my aunt, but I don't think the condo has been transferred yet. Wei Ge, after we go back, help me contact my aunt, I don't want the condo but I want a few things inside. We must have her help me find a way."
LanXiRong nodded, “That makes sense. This condo is definitely still in your name. No matter what big abilities YanMingXiu has, he can't just take over someone else's condo." CaiWei nodded, “Well, this is the only way. Let’s head back before YanMingXiu does.”
After reaching consensus, the three men didn't stay for more than a moment. They drove directly to the city on the same day and flew back to Beijing without stopping.
CaiWei had already called ZhouXiang’s aunt along the way, but the other party never answered. In the end, she simply turned off her phone.
ZhouXiang understood what this meant so he no longer depended on this relative for help.
Both CaiWei and LanXiRong still have their own matters to deal with. Before the three separated, CaiWei repeatedly urged him, “Don’t think too much. I'll find other ways to contact your aunt. YanMingXiu hasn’t yet returned. We still have some time.”
ZhouXiang nodded. He smiled and patted CaiWei’s arm, “Wei Ge, I understand. Don’t worry. Thank you for coming with me and sorry for delaying you guys for several days.”
LanXiRong smiled forcefully, “Xiang Ge, we couldn't even do anything, you still say this?”
“How could that be? I've accomplished my biggest purpose. I saw myself.” ZhouXiang lifted the corners of his mouth into a faint smile, his eyes void, “I've nothing to regret.”
The two looked at him, feeling a bit pained.
ZhouXiang smiled stiffly, “I'll treat you guys out for a meal later, go back first.”
After CaiWei left, LanXiRong was still worried so he took him home.
After ZhouXiang got home, he acted as if everything was as usual. He even remembered to bring some specialties from Guangxi for ChenYing and Aunt Wang. When Aunt Wang was eating fruits, she began to repetitiously tell them that she found a nice girl from some family for ZhouXiang, a girl that is lively, sensible and the like. Aunt Wang have always liked ZhouXiang a lot and felt that he should have a significant other at his age, so she's always kept this in mind.
ZhouXiang listened with a smile on his face, his eyes looking straight at the TV, but there was no picture. A phrase kept entering his mind.
At midnight, sometime after 1 am, everyone was asleep.
ZhouXiang quietly got out of bed and changed into a black outfit, put on a hat and a scarf, got some tools from his toolbox and then quietly went out.
He went back to his own home by car. If he was not forced to such an extent, he would definitely not take this kind of risks again, but he can't think of any other ways. In fact, nobody could help him because nobody could go against YanMingXiu. He definitely won't allow YanMingXiu to burn, or throw, and bury things that are extremely important to him.
He was afraid that YanMingXiu have changed the lock so he brought some tools. He also didn't know if he could open the lock but he wanted to try his luck. At least he could check out what kind of lock it is. If he couldn’t open it, he would spend money to find a thief to help him.
He is determined to go in.
When he arrived at the neighborhood, it was already past 2am. The neighborhood was quiet; the treetop is lush and dense, blocking most of the moonlight. There were several street lamps that are neither light nor dark dangling on both sides of the path. The entire atmosphere gives people a hidden kind of feeling.
ZhouXiang went up the stairs. He grabbed the door handle to his home, turned on the flashlight and looked down at the door lock. YanMingXiu actually did not change the lock; it was still the original one, then what about the key?
ZhouXiang quietly opened the fire box and reached his hand in. Very soon, he touched the small piece of cold metal.
The key is still here…
YanMingXiu actually let his guard down? Still leaving the key here? ZhouXiang couldn’t help but wonder but he had no time to ponder over this. He quickly found the key and gently opened the door.
The room is dark. He held the flashlight and scanned the area. He decided to first get the second prize trophy that his father won when he participated in the national martial arts competition. That was his father's most proud item. When he was a child, he often held it and asked his father to teach him. Using his memory, he touched the second row of cabinets near the TV, opened the glass door and reached in for the rusted trophy.
The moment his fingertips touched the trophy, it suddenly brightened up in front of him. The lights in the living room are turned on!
ZhouXiang is so frightened that his heart missed half a beat. His eyes couldn’t adapt to the light for a while. He nervously lowered his head. When he opened his eyes slowly and turned his head in surprise, he sees YanMingXiu standing at the door of the bedroom, staring at him like a wolf, with his eyes glaring red, as if he will rush towards him at any time!
ZhouXiang pulled his trembling hand back and then stood frozen in place. The two men looked at each other across the distance of a few meters. It is obviously a small home. They are so close but it felt as if there is an abyss in front of them, both not having the courage to cross.
ZhouXiang understood in that moment, the words that YanMingXiu said yesterday and him being here today to stop him, all of it was premeditated by YanMingXiu to make him anxious…to make him impatient so that he would show his true colors and give himself away.
At this moment, he can't find any other reasons to explain the situation at hand. What thief will come to steal a rusty, worthless trophy?
YanMingXiu could hardly breathe. Every time he gasped, it is accompanied by great pain. Everything that he had experienced in the past few days were a million times more than all the pain he has suffered in his entire life. He has the illusion that his body had been riddled with holes. When he saw this person in front of him… when he is certain of what he had in mind, he thought that he will be very excited but the reality is that he can't even speak. He can't even take the first step and is already on the verge of collapse.
The two men looked at each other comically and painfully for more than ten seconds. YanMingXiu finally forced out the very difficult words lodged in his throat, “Really… Is you…”
ZhouXiang didn’t explain anything. He just took off his scarf and coat because he was sweating profusely. There was no place in his internal organs that didn't feel pained. He felt as if he would faint. He didn't have to pretend anymore. Since it has already reached this stage, he should not leave. This is his condo, his home, he wants YanMingXiu to return it to him!
YanMingXiu took step by step forward, getting closer and closer. ZhouXiang looked at his somewhat distorted expression and unconsciously stepped back.
This step immediately stimulated YanMingXiu. He rushed forward in a big a step and fiercely slammed ZhouXiang on the wall, glaring at him with bloodshot eyes, his voice completely out of tune, “It’s you… it's really you……”
ZhouXiang’s lips trembled as he looked at YanMingXiu stiffly.
YanMingXiu embraced ZhouXiang tightly, “It’s really you… ZhouXiang… It’s really you. Why, why didn't you tell me? You are so close to me but didn't tell me!” YanMingXiu somberly cried out, “I thought you were dead! I thought you were dead, ZhouXiang! Why are you doing this to me? How much do you really hate me? Why are you doing this to me?!”
YanMingXiu’s tears rapidly flowed down. He grabbed tightly onto ZhouXiang, just like holding a tree in the flood. Once he loosened his hand, he would fall into the abyss again. How he passed by these three years, he could no longer describe. He lied to himself day by day that ZhouXiang is not dead, that ZhouXiang would come back. So he completely ignored the opposition from his entire family and became an actor. He thought that ZhouXiang must be angry with him so he didn't want to come back to see him. He wanted ZhouXiang to be able to see him at all times, then maybe one day, ZhouXiang would come back. He waited day after day. Every day, he was deeply tormented by hope and despair. All his remorse that has carved into his bone marrow is like an abyss that had completely exhausted all of his thoughts of the future. There is a voice in his heart constantly telling him that ZhouXiang has already died but is suppressed by him time and time again. As long as he hadn't seen ZhouXiang's body, he could not help but hold onto the hope that ZhouXiang is still alive. Otherwise, how could he continue to endure?
How could he endure? In a world without ZhouXiang, when this person had given him the best feelings and then completely disengaged, how could he endure?
He had been through this for three years…three years….more than a thousand days and nights, every minute and every second of yearning and pain, how did he really get through it?
He's never really fallen in love or dated anyone. He even ended up putting his childish love on the wrong person. But very soon, he had come to realize that he didn't want to be separated from ZhouXiang. If only he was given a little bit more time, he would have figured out who it is that he truly loved. But why can't he even be given this opportunity before everything and all his hopes are dashed.
No one could understand how he felt when he heard of ZhouXiang's accident.
He rather die.
Fortunately, God really didn't give up on him. ZhouXiang really came back. But he obviously had been by his side for nearly a year, but didn't say anything.
Was it to torture him?
If there weren’t so many clues, if it wasn’t for this matter that made ZhouXiang reveal his biggest flaw, how long would he (ZhouXiang) have hidden it from himself? Maybe even on the day of his death, he wouldn't have known that the person he had always longed for… the person who was always on his mind, was right beside him!
YanMingXiu is on the verge of collapsed.
ZhouXiang actually hated him so much…..
ZhouXiang is shocked seeing YanMingXiu’s frantic expression, with his tears that kept falling. Every tears of YanMingXiu was like a knife piecing the core of his heart, making him feel overwhelmed.
YanMingXiu touched his face and hoarsely muttered, “I'm sorry, I'm sorry… ZhouXiang, don’t hate me. I have done a lot of things wrong… but I miss you so much, miss you so much that I'm going crazy, don’t hate me. ……”
ZhouXiang stared at him blankly, his heart is tightly held by an invisible hand, almost suffocating him. For a moment, he couldn’t digest so many things that have shocked him. His mind is completely blank.
Why is YanMingXiu like this? Wasn't he always in love with WangYuDong? If he is so heart-broken over his death, then how come he never gave him even a bit of hope during the entire time they were together?
Even for him to feel the glimmer of hope that YanMingXiu liked him; he didn’t even feel a bit of that. He only remembered that he kept pursuing, kept coaxing, kept doing everything he could to get YanMingXiu to like him, but YanMingXiu's affections were always changing, sometimes hot and sometimes cold. Until he knew who YanMingXiu had in his heart is when he gave up.
What about now? What does it mean now? What is the fucking meaning of looking so heart-broken?
ZhouXiang's mouth is agape; his tears almost fell. He wanted to push away YanMingXiu's hand that is grabbing onto him, but he wasn't strong enough and couldn't even move it a bit.
YanMingXiu grabbed onto him tightly, as if he was afraid of him slipping away. He mournfully called out to him, “ZhouXiang, say something, fucking say something. I beg you. Do you know how much I miss you? Do you know how I passed these three years? I love you. Do you understand? I know I've said that too late. But you didn't even give me a chance to tell you. ZhouXiang, I won't let you go again, I definitely won't…..”
When ZhouXiang heard the three words, he heard the collapsing sound of the world he had built.
Love? YanMingXiu loves him? If YanMingXiu loves him, why did he die? Why?
ZhouXiang finally opened his mouth. He looked at YanMingXiu indistinctively and said, “How could you say that you love me? YanMingXiu, how could you fucking say that to me? When you were fucking me, your heart was thinking of WangYuDong. With just a phone call from WangYuDong, you had me tied up and wouldn't let me leave. For WangYuDong…. You didn't care how much you humiliated me…You…you're telling me that you love me? YanMingXiu, this sentence, how could you say it?"
Every single word is devastatingly heartbreaking.
End of the chapter